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Abortion, Can We Only Blame Women

It’s easy to blame women for all abortions, but many people are not ready for the conversation we are about to have.

If men could become pregnant, I wonder whether abortion would still be treated the same way. Would abortions be so convenient for men that they could receive one while waiting for their vehicle to be serviced?

Women are usually held responsible for abortions, but how many abortion decisions were encouraged, pressured, threatened, or forced by the man involved in the pregnancy? How many women wanted to continue their pregnancies but felt they had no other choice? How many men pressured women not to have abortions, only to disappear after the abortion window had passed?

This survey examines the role that men, partners, relatives, and others may have played in a woman’s pregnancy decision. It also includes a separate section for loved ones of women who were killed while pregnant.

We want to hear from you if:

  • A man pressured, threatened, or forced you to have an abortion.

  • You wanted to continue your pregnancy but felt you had no other choice.

  • You were physically assaulted for refusing to have an abortion.

  • Violence caused you to miscarry.

  • A man interfered with your birth control or removed a condom without your knowledge or consent—an act commonly called “stealthing.”

  • A man intentionally got you pregnant to prevent you from attending college, joining the military, leaving the relationship, or advancing your life.

  • You were married and still pressured or forced to have an abortion.

  • You became pregnant by a prominent or influential man who “encouraged” you to have an abortion.

  • A man persuaded you not to have an abortion and then disappeared after the abortion window ended.

  • You came from a pro-life or anti-abortion family that pressured or forced you to have an abortion.

  • Your pregnant daughter, sister, mother, relative, or close friend was killed, and the pregnancy or her decision to continue it may have been a factor.

The survey separates confirmed facts from personal or family suspicions. A loved one’s section asks how the death was officially classified, who was identified or charged, and whether authorities connected the killing to the pregnancy. We understand that some motives remain unknown or were never officially confirmed.

There are many stories behind pregnancy and abortion decisions that are rarely included when women receive all the blame. This survey gives women and their loved ones an opportunity to share those experiences.

You may also tell your story in our Abortion Forum. You can create an account to participate. Your email address will not be displayed publicly.

Please do not post private identifying information about yourself, a victim, or anyone accused in an unconfirmed case.

Image obtained from: FJC Sonoma County

Some questions mention abortion pressure, reproductive control, threats, and violence. You may skip any question you are uncomfortable answering. Please answer about the pregnancy that affected you most.

Abortion, Can We Only Blame Women
Opening Question

1) Which experience are you responding about?*

1) Which experience are you responding about?*

My Own Pregnancy Experience
Some questions mention abortion pressure, reproductive control, threats, and violence. You may skip any question you are uncomfortable answering. Please answer about the pregnancy that affected you most.

1)

How old were you when this pregnancy experience occurred?*

1)

How old were you when this pregnancy experience occurred?*

2)

Which of the following have you personally experienced? Select all that apply.*

2)

Which of the following have you personally experienced? Select all that apply.*

3)

Before anyone attempted to influence you, what did you personally want?*

3)

Before anyone attempted to influence you, what did you personally want?*

4)

Who attempted to influence or control your pregnancy decision? Select all that apply.*

4)

Who attempted to influence or control your pregnancy decision? Select all that apply.*

5)

How did the person attempt to influence or control your decision? Select all that apply.*

5)

How did the person attempt to influence or control your decision? Select all that apply.*

6)

What was the outcome of that pregnancy?*

6)

What was the outcome of that pregnancy?*
If you feel comfortable, please explain what happened and what you want people to understand about the role others played in your pregnancy decision.
Loved-One Section
This section is for relatives or close loved ones of someone who was killed while pregnant. Please distinguish what authorities confirmed from what you or your family suspect. Do not include private names or identifying information.

1) How old was your loved one when she was killed?*

1) How old was your loved one when she was killed?*

2)

How was your loved one’s death officially classified?*

2)

How was your loved one’s death officially classified?*

3) Who was identified, charged, or convicted in connection with her death?*

3) Who was identified, charged, or convicted in connection with her death?*

4)

Was the killing believed to be connected to the pregnancy or her decisions about it? Select all that apply.*

4)

Was the killing believed to be connected to the pregnancy or her decisions about it? Select all that apply.*
If you feel comfortable, please share anything else about what happened. If the case was publicly reported, you may include a news link or public case number. Please do not share private identifying information.
Final Thoughts
1) Do you have any comments or additional information you wish to share?
1) Do you have any comments or additional information you wish to share?
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